A long awaited solution

Have just come back from the dentist and I feel 13 again. I'm currently wearing my new tooth guard which is essentially a piece of flexible yet tough, transparent plastic which covers the whole row of bottom teeth just above the gum.
It feels so weird!
And I never realised how much I chew my teeth together or ground them until I put this on. I'm technically only meant to wear it in the evenings, but I'm going to try wearing it every chance I get to push myself out of the habit of biting my teeth together during the day so damned much. I put it down to stress at the beginning, but I've realised now I've been doing it for nearly half a year.
I've been told that it's a habit I need to stop. But I physically can't. I think it's a habit probably harder than smoking as you do it when you don't even realise.
I find myself grinding my teeth together even thinking about forcing myself to stop. I used to try and stop the habit my biting a pen, but that does nothing to rectify the situation as I'm still grinding, just not doing my teeth in. It's the strength behind the grinding I need to stop using!
I thought I only ground my teeth during the day just occasionally when I'm worried, but I put them in experiementally in the car for the journey back home and no...I do it constantly. Grinding my teeth is now as common to my system as breathing and it's a massive comfort thing.

Poor Tom last night awoke me with 'Please stop grinding your teeth!'. I think last night really must have been the last straw for him. I grind them most when I'm stressed and last night I was seriously angsting about this job interview (I'm meant to receive confirmation today as to whether I have a second one or not) so of course my teeth went into over time.

Fortunately, as of today...I think his (and mine) prays have finally been answered. I cannot grind my teeth against this mouth guard for love nor money.

This habit was costing me my teeth's health, grounding against my molars and costing my canine's their sharpness, not to mention my bottom lip's skin situation what with biting it in an attempt to stop.

Of course the bill may hit me in the face, but I honestly have to say, this is possibly the best investment I've ever made towards my teeth.
I went through a good couple of years with braces. I don't want to bugger up all that work through grinding my teeth for years to come.

A bit of pain for some gain

I know I know, look at me...several months of not writing anything at all then bam, several all at the same time. Hey ho.

And excuse the random title...I've just blown my nose which means I've made both my ears block up completely which means I can't think straight.
Marvellous

Firstly, the cold which I've been battling since the end of time, refusing it entry to my nasal passages has finally rugby tackled me and tripped me up in the most unceremonious manner, landing me neatly in my dressing gown (whilst fully clothed), sitting/lying on the sofa, dousing my throat in hot ribena and cold pills. Yesterday and the day before I felt so down I found myself feeling irrationally sad at the most random things and yesterday when in bed, reading, I was feeling so forlorn, I ended up crying because I couldn't open a bottle of water, and couldn't stop myself from saying the most abstract things. I wasn't feverish...I just felt extremely down and my head and sinuses felt three times the size.
The cold really hit yesterday when I entered comatose bunny state at bed time and Tom had to carry me to bed, fireman style.

However, by some wondrous miracle, I now feel like I've been resurrected from the dead. I woke up today and leapt out of bed to continue with the daily routine before going to the dentist (to have a print of my teeth taken and a mouth guard made...apparently I've modified my canines and molars ever so slightly through grinding my teeth so my dentist jumped into action to save them) and I actually feel human again. I nearly made the mistake of taking a shower and washing my hair before leaving the house today, which would have been a baaaad move as it's a very chilly morning, my hair never dries all the way and I'm only just recovering this damned cold. I can't stand up for too long as I'm still a little weak, but I can think as clearly as a blue day sky.

Which is terrific as that now gives me a week to recover fully for the interview I have on Thursday next week.
Ooooh yes, I have an interview with a publishing company next week. I can't remember all the details, but if it's the one I think it is, it's very good.
However, I'm still going to keep job hunting in case this one turns out to be a dud...but fingers crossed.
I aimed to have a job before the year was out and looks like I'm a tiny step closer to that!

As subtle as a gust of wind in a cloud

A curious thought struck me on the bus home the other day.

I was first led to think about this when I was looking at a Monty's restaurant. When you read what I write you'll wonder why...if you're still interested how I got from Monty's to this topic, I've written an explanation below.

Anyway..

Men have often felt thoroughly exasperated by the lack of obviousness demonstrated by the female gender when it comes to expressing emotional interest. Rather than come right out and tell the apple of their eye they're interested in pursuing their relationship further from the boundaries of friendship, they drop coy hints here and there, dropping tell tale comments and being as subtle as physically possible, not realising that their message isn't quite getting through to the male and simply entangling his already huge mass of confusion in regard to this woman ('does she actually like me? Or is she just being friendly? Am I going to be slapped if I make a move? She touched my arm. What does that mean?? Oooh she smiled...but then she smiled at him...)And today I think I've worked out why. During history (and I'm thinking mainly of the Victorian era...and generally any decade in which fans, strict clothing guidelines and society rules were followed), men and women communicated either via colleagues or through the simplest gestures over the dinning table, during the entertainment in the evening etc. I remember watching a program in which a group of five men and five women 'went back in time' to pick up a possible future spouse, but through the means of Victorian flirting. This meant men had to pick their mannerisms and words carefully so as not to offend the women and the woman looking after them and, what's most interesting, the women had to learn very specific movements to show their love interest....their interest...in love.I found it fascinating that the women had to learn how to move their fans in a certain way or place their hands on their lap in a particular movement to send across the correct message. Any other means of communication was considered inappropriate. The slightly tilt of a fan could send across a terribly incorrect message to the wrong man.
This is why I believe most women don't come straight out and tell their love interest that they are in fact interested. I believe that due to the centuries of being taught to be discreet and send signals across a room to an admirer has moved down through the years, despite the need to be discreet becoming more and more unnecessary. Which is why many women become extremely frustrated when their interest doesn't seem to quite catch on to the 'glance across the room and smile' image or when the wrong man catches the wrong signal. Which makes life extremely tough for both genders considering women seem to have developed an amazing talent for mixing the signals 'I like you as a friend' with 'I REALLY like you'.

I could of course be completely and utterly wrong about the whole thing, and talking through a dazzled view of things. But it's something interesting to think about.
Subtle flirting has been passed down through centuries...it's not our fault ....

Anyway, my explanation for the connection of Monty's restaurant to the above topic.
On the bus, I passed a Monty's and thought isn't it peculiar how there are two Monty's so close together in Ealing. I then had an image of two Indian men discussing the situation of having two Monty's based so close. To enable this, my brain went into automatic 'translation' mode and tried to assist me in imagining the whole conversation in their native language. Not knowing how to speak the language, my mind then pulled me back to my experiences of watching Indian films with my parents as a child and remembering how they sounded, which then led to me wondering, does the dialect still sound the way I heard it back then or did it change the same way the English language then (my subconscious automatically announcing that of course it changed)....which led me to wonder how the English language has changed so much, which would lead body language to change too? Which reminded me of the Victorian program I mentioned above......and...so forth.

My mind works in some very strange ways....it can sometimes be extremely entertaining.

Jobs a huntin' game

I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere at last.

Since the end of the show, I've spent pretty much every day job hunting or writing (with the occasional couple of hours break for computer gaming just for de-stressing).
However, I've made sure that I spend at least 3 hours every day updating my cv for websites, searching every site possible for vacancies which somehow match briefly what I'm looking for, or applying to e-mails I receive (which I might add aren't really as good as what I find when I search online).
I've decided to give myself a bit of a break from job hunting/applying as I've gone for literally, EVERYTHING I can find and I want to give the websites a chance to change, as I'm starting to just repeat myself now and I don't like re-applying to jobs more than once...if they haven't contacted me already, then they won't.

However...the green light appears to be showing and the 13th is now turning into a very nifty number for me indeed.
Had an interview for a recruitment company today and it was most satisfactory.

I began the day in a panic, lying in a dozing state as Tom prepared to leave, was aware of him saying good bye, then woke in fright at 8.45 thinking I was late, but also thinking Tom was still around, so sat up calling out for him in confusion. Managed to drag myself out of bed to have a shower, but was forced to return a few minutes later as body couldn't physically handle being out of bed. 15 minutes later I was up and 'ready' for action. Have made mental note and verbal request to Tom to wake me in the morning. I can't afford to feel pants in the morning when I get a new job.

Got on the tube to go to my destination, only to realise by the time we'd reach White City, shock horror, there was a chance of me being late. ACK! This was a very good recruitment company, did NOT want to arrive late (would like to point out now there were delays on the train and taking alternative route would have cause further delay so not my fault).
Gave them a call just before the tube went underground and told them I was going to be late. They replied they'd see me in about ten minutes then? To which I responded positively, praying to everything that that would be the case and not the half an hour I was expecting.

It took me about 5 minutes extra to find the place as the building number was the same colour as the surrounding concrete so couldn't see it (and most media/publishing recruitment companies don't have big signs outside) and the people working around number 9 (I was looking for 7) had no idea.
Found it by fluke, then went in....exactly 10 minutes later as reported. Felt strangely chuffed.

Took the typing test (60-70 wpm I might add, thanks mum) and was congratulated on my speed, then spent an hour or so in conversation.
Two job opportunities arose. One for Penguin which looks bloody good (covering maternity leave for 6 months to a year...not permanent exactly, but looks extremely good on CV).
Second, working in another publishing company near the marketing department. Didn't sound bad at all.
Was told to forward he recruitment company a covering letter as I would send out if applying for any job myself rather than through an agency which they would send to the company and was told they'd forward me the details of the other job.

Later went for lunch with Tom at a very quaint little Italian place which we'd not been to before and though the service was a tad slow, the food was terrific.

Got home and found not just one message on my phone regarding a PA job I'd applied for, but two e-mails requesting further details from yours truly.
V. Pleased but will contact them tomorrow first thing as I'm now feeling very damned sleepy and know I won't do my best when I speak to them.

Anyway, time to zone out now and stare at the wall.

Thank you and good night....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz